PATRICK COLLINS
OPINIONS EDITOR

FARES CHEHABI
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Jean Kilbourne – Every part of Jean Kilbourne’s presence in the School Center annoyed me, except when she walked out. I have no issue with someone being a feminist, but I do have an issue when feminists look upon those who don’t share their beliefs as uneducated pigs. That, in short, is why I have an issue with Kilbourne. Her anti-advertising message annoyed me on two levels. Kilbourne doesn’t seem to understand that the purpose of advertising is to present ideals to consumers, or at least she didn’t make it apparent that she does. No consumer wants to see an average looking, overweight individual presenting the product they are about to purchase. Or at least no one except Kilbourne and her feminist army. It will be a depressing day if Kilbourne gets her way, and walking down a street, my eyes are met with billboards and magazines covered in the ugly, uninspiring bodies of the average. The day we place the average on advertising, is the day we stop striving for an improvement. I am not saying that all advertising presents a healthy and attainable ideal, but a good majority that I am exposed to does (just look at those beautiful men and women in Calvin Klein and Victoria’s Secret ads.) Secondly, as a male, I was somewhat offended at Kilbourne’s notion that men face no pressure in the media and advertising. -PC

Cubbies – There has been no greater addition to the school since a slurpee machine graced the cafeteria with its presence for one beautiful year. Simply put, the cubbies are amazing. Representing 50 percent of what was brilliant about kindergarten, the cubbies add a youthful touch in the otherwise uptight High School. They allow a sense of trust, promoting a certain air of freedom. Cubbies are more than just a place to dump a bag; they are a symbol of hope, a sign of better to come. When John Stark said, “Live free or die,” this is surely the path to freedom he was talking about. Sources also say nap time may be just around the corner. – PC

Hipsters – Few things manage to disgust me more than the backwards thinking people that are hipsters. In short, hipsters make an attempt to ruin everything they can get their hands on, while seemingly attempting to look terrible. Think of hipsters like Star Wars space slugs, they will go after everything and anything, and once they get a grip, it’s game over. In ruining items, they also hold an ridiculous ability to make awesome things look awful. Just ask lumberjacks, who must still bitter about hipsters ruining flannel. By attempting to revive older fashion in order to “be different”, hipsters seem to fail to realize that when everybody is being different by doing the same thing, they are all the same. Thus a never ending cycle ensues, in which hipsters move from fashion trend to fashion trend, destroying everything in their path. Some of the hipster’s most devastating destructions include most items seen in the movie White Men Can’t Jump, any sort of Native American getup, and the handlebar mustache. I hope the ghost of Geronimo teams up with the ghost bare-knuckle brawler great John L. Sullivan to really give it to some hipsters. I don’t understand a sudden obsession with looking terrible. Look good damnit. – PC

The Standard Tunes – What a pleasure it has been to be in the journalism lab recently. Justin Timberlake, Ne-Yo, and Rihanna. Bangers, bangers, bangers. Last year, the journalism lab was a stellar place to be if you were in need of some good tunes. I’m relieved to say that this year is no different. The staff has really stepped it up. Shahid Mahdi (’13) has upped his game especially – he’s mixing in some classic Santana with the weird stuff he finds on blogs, like that remix that’s a remix of a remix of a remix. Still a tune. What we need now is to get some decent surround sound installed in the room so we can really serenade our surrounding classrooms. That way, Math Teacher Julie Bevad’s class next door can hear everything we play louder and in even better quality. “Call Me Maybe” on repeat during a math test is just swell, apparently. DJ T8 may finally have some competition. – FC

fares_chehabi@asl.org
patrick_collins@asl.org