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The High School Student News Site of The American School in London

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My ’stache – Do you remember Brad Pitt’s superb moustache from Inglourious Basterds? Yeah, no, mine looked nothing like that. I gave no-shave November my all, or at least I nearly did. I assure you, I scratched my neck almost every November morning like a dog dealing with a bad case of fleas. But during November break I had an epiphany. While in the midst of a wonderful dream involving Mila Kunis and me as the last human beings on earth, my fantasy was abruptly interrupted by the arrival of three great, mustachioed men: Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson, full-time prisoner and part-time bareknuckle boxer Charles Bronson and the delightful Tom Selleck. Each of them stepped forward individually and told me, in beautiful, emotional detail about how truly life-changing having a moustache really is. Words cannot precisely describe how mesmerizing the experience was. I shaved the next morning, but I left my moustache untouched. So, until December, my upper lip was blessed with magnificent pubescent glory. Empty in places and thoroughly frightful, I came out of No-shave November learning one crucial lesson: Sometimes, stubble is best. Also, shoutout to Owen Rees (’13) for best Movember. – FC

Movie Month – January is going to be a very simple month in my life. I know this for a fact. The reason: Movies. A lot of movies. I am even tempted to write a letter to whichever member of the government in charge of giving months nicknames, because, in the United Kingdom, January 2013 should hence forth be known as Movie Month (it will be a thing, trust me).
“Why Movie Month?” asks the ignorant reader. Well because throughout Movie Month, the United Kingdom will be graced with a series of films that will give a new meaning to the term, starting the year off right. Some will be classics, others will be breathtaking and they will all be the reason why my backside will become very familiar with the soft cushions of cinema seating.

Movie Month will start off slow, with films such a Gerard Butler’s sporting romance flick Playing for Keeps, which will actually be prime, and the never ending Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, now in 3D, keeping moviegoers entertained. However, once the 11th rolls around, things will really start to spice up. Ryan Gosling as a gritty 1940s cop will fight Sean Penn, playing a mob boss terrorizing the city of Los Angeles, in the film Gangster Squad. Emma Stone adds a nice touch of sex appeal to a film that draws parallels to the 1987 movie Untouchables. Coming to cinema on the same day and undoubtedly overshadowing the shoot ’em up film at its release is the movie adaption of the 19th century French novel Les Misérables. I will be the least surprised if the all-star cast of Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe and Anne Hathaway brings tears to my eyes during the two-and-a-half hour film that is sure to be an epic.
I am confident in already declaring Les Misérables the second-best film of Movie Month, although it won’t come anywhere close to touching Quentin Tarantino’s latest masterpiece, Django Unchained. The story of a revenge-driven slave-turned-bounty hunter, set in antebellum America, stars Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio and more and is bound to be the pinnacle of Movie Month when it releases in U.K. theaters on the 18th. I could not be more excited to watch Jamie Foxx shoot his way through the plantation south and to watch Leonardo DiCaprio portray Calvin Candie, the most notorious plantation owner in Mississippi (my mouth watered writing that sentence). I predict that I will view the film three times before it leaves the theaters.

Movie Month will come to a close on the 25th with a duo of patriotic films covering both recent and century old American history. Steven Spielberg directs Lincoln, a film covering the amazing story of Abraham Lincoln’s struggle to lead the United States during the Civil War and rid the country of slavery. Lincoln is bound to be a miraculous film and will receive more attention on release day than the equally amazing story portrayed in Zero Dark Thirty: the film chronicling the United States’ hunt for Osama bin Laden that will culminate with the Navy SEAL Team Six mission that successfully killed the former leader of al-Qaeda. I have complete confidence that both films will send shivers down my spine and that I will leave each one with goose bumps the size of thimbles.

However, if I had to choose just one film to watch during the entirety of Movie Month, I would undoubtedly pick the recreation of the 2001 Pixar classic Monsters, Inc in 3D. Unless deprived of a childhood, I have no doubt that every High Schooler would agree that reminiscing upon the much simpler times while watching Sulley and Mike tear it up in 3D will be the highlight of Movie Month, if not the entire year. – PC

Frost – There are few things I dislike about winter. I love the cold. I love the shortened days. I love the holiday sweaters, the Christmas music and the eggnog. However, the one thing that I hate about what Andy Williams calls “the most wonderful time of the year,” is the frost. I could easily spend hours on a Grinch-esque rampage due to my hatred for frost, but I have yet to find a cute enough Cindy Lou to co-star with me. So for now, this rant will have to suffice. Frost is the world’s largest tease. It implements the idea of snow into your mind, letting you know that those lovely white flakes could easily fall, yet don’t. Instead you are left with crystallized surfaces that laugh at every sad soul who looks upon them with dreams of snow. Frost is a worse tease than a Kate Upton video. It shows everyone exactly what is possible. Presents you with an idea that you can have something, yet never brings you anywhere close to it. Oh, and yes, the anticipation of a snow day has already begun. Jump on the bandwagon. – PC

DJ Tevisco – ASL’s official disk jockey, the master of the tracks himself, is apparently taking a page or two out of the Puff Daddy / P. Diddy book How To Be Successful in the Music Business, by changing his name yet again. First it was DJ T8 and now its DJ Tevisco (I have a tenner on the next name being DJ Tescos). If he keeps following Diddy’s footsteps, be prepared for a club shoot-out that results in Tevisco’s best friend being deported. Tevisco = Diddy. Diddy = great. Tevisco = great. Math. – PC

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